taking a shower without my body wash

I got home early Sunday morning. I didn’t take a shower at my friend’s place, after all. He had a party and told me I could spend the night if I wanted to not drink and drive. So I packed some of my dirigibles (I think they’re called) and a change of clothes just in case. I had gotten there early so I hung around a bit and checked out the bathroom that I’d probably use the next morning. I tried to make it seem more like mine or at least that the shower was one that I had used before, so I unpacked my dirigibles and left them on the sink cabinet. The next morning I woke up kind of early (for someone who had stayed up until three in the morning) and decided to just head home. I didn’t have to let my friend know.

When I got home I slept for another few hours. I kind of rued the sun outside because I wasn’t in shape to take advantage of it and I wondered if the party was worth it. That always happened to me the day after a party. I wondered and rued a little bit. But I closed the curtains and drifted off to sleep. When I woke up I saw the rued sun peeking through the window. I suddenly felt anxious. I felt that I needed to move and make something of the day. Maybe go to a museum or bar in the art district. Something more meaningful than the drinking and fun I had the night before.

I unpacked my dirigibles and realized that my body wash was missing. I called my friend and asked him if he’d seen my body wash in his bathroom and he said not only had he seen my body wash but that he used some of it because he didn’t have any soap. He made a joke about how “fresh” it was compared to plain old water. I recalled its spring meadow scent in my nose memory and became slightly annoyed. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have used his body wash if he had left it at my house. He said I could come by and pick it up but for one reason or another I was too indecisive and my conversation about the body wash got lost in his post-party-still-slightly-drunk conversation about a Robert Plant tour making its way through our area in a few months and how he had a dream about having a fantasy about watching porn stars with their clothes on. Eventually our whole conversation trailed off with me resigned to the fact that I wouldn’t be getting my body wash back.

After I hung up the phone I went into the bathroom and noticed that I had a bottle of hair conditioner left. I had thrown my shampoo away the day before because the shampoo bottle was empty. I never really used shampoo until an ex-girlfriend told me that I needed to use shampoo so that my hair wouldn’t get too dry. And then I started to use shampoo every day but another girl I met told me I shouldn’t use it every day but only once a week. So I started using shampoo maybe once a week and then another girl told me I should really use it every other day. I haven’t met any other girls since then. But I started using shampoo every other day. I decided that it was actually my decision based on three recommendations.

Yesterday was one of the every other days and I had used the last of the shampoo. I’d run out of body wash before and used shampoo as a good replacement. It lathered up pretty well and smelled similar to body wash and I really didn’t feel any dirtier or less fresh after using shampoo to wash my body. But conditioner didn’t lather up and I wasn’t sure how it would work as a replacement for my shampoo which would have worked as a replacement for my body wash. I turned on the shower to give the water time to warm up and sat down on the toilet seat and read the directions on the conditioner bottle.

After shampooing with (product name) shampoo, apply (same product name as shampoo) conditioner liberally from roots to end. Rinse and repeat if necessary.

I took the shampoo bottle out of the trash can and compared the shampoo ingredients to the conditioner ingredients. They looked of the same type but different enough to confuse me. I peered inside the bottle to see if there was any shampoo left that might have slid down to the bottom. There wasn’t much but I did see a film of liquid down there. I poured some of the conditioner into the shampoo bottle and then I filled the shampoo bottle with some water. I shook it up, took my clothes off, and went into the shower. The mixture didn’t ooze out like shampoo or even conditioner did. It streamed out. Something about it made me feel rushed about taking a shower. I didn’t feel the same comfort on my skin as I did with the spring meadow body wash. The water was hot and steamy but it was a dry and unfulfilling shower.

This is my clubhoof story

This is my clubhoof story. Please choose it to win.

Sincerely,

Sane Bridgebase (not my real name)

is this thing working?

huh